Stumbling from a Blessed Experience

The 5 weeks that I spent in Guelph during this summer trip was one that I could never forget. Not only was it my first in-person mission trip, but learning how God worked amongst us as we actively partnered with the spirit to build relationships and find opportunities to share the Gospel was a real "spiritual warfare" sometimes. Towards the end I was worried that this "spiritual high" of being on the missions field would end after the trip finishes, but this tiny restlessness shrunk back into a seed which I will store away & never water it.

Without a rest, I started my internship with my church the Monday after I came back. I'm very thankful that I went to Guelph, because now as an intern in the international students ministry (ISM), I felt like I had more awareness of what this ministry is about which definitely gave me more direction to figure out the relaunch project. So in the beginning I was really confident that I'm going to do a good job, I'm going to move this ministry out of its slump with this plan, and I'm going to bring what I learned from my trip to this project. In the first few weeks I was making connections, meeting new people and I did learn a lot from different missionaries and ISM personnels, even learning news things about my calling that God had burdened my heart with. Maybe it all was going too smooth, so that when the other intern started I felt like I could give her "guidance" (who was I to think that honestly).

Now, everything I learned was good and valid, but there were also many things that I missed & did not see until I started to do the planning myself; one of the things being volunteers. And here's the thing, I thought that people would love to welcome and show hospitality to international students, but it turned out to be the opposite. Or shall I say, they don't know how impactful this field is to the kingdom, because admittedly when I was first exposed to international students' ministry 2 years ago I didn't go ahead with the opportunity for this exact reason. Even though the project for this internship doesn't require me to recruit people or anything like that, a big part of me felt like I couldn't see how things can happen without these precious human resources. At the time I didn't realize my lack of faith, and perhaps I was being too hard on myself because I absolutely don't think I can do it without God, but the hands-on & go-getter part of me was worried; and it apparently showed in my conversations. Another thing was that I wasn't given clear expectations with regards to what I'm aiming for with the people that the pastor set up for me to connect.

I felt slightly discouraged, but I heard the Spirit telling me to speak less & just listen. I was humbled by His instructions and I earnestly seeked for guidance. So I called up my "Guelph mom" and told her about my troubles. That's when I realized that it only appeared to be "easy" while I was in Guelph because of the work that she's put in for years to set up a structure and connect with people who were willing to volunteer. She's been doing this ministry for so long while I just started, how can I be frustrated already? Her encouragement really helped me to gain my confidence back, and affirmed that I was on the right track. God had to use this experience to make me shut up and listen to Him, to depend on Him, and be a faithful servant. It reminded me of how big He is again, just as He told Job, He is the one in control: (there's nothing better than knowing that we have a loving & powerful God as the king of kings!)

How great is god - beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out. (Job 36:26)

God's voice thunders in marvellous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. (Job 37:5)

Picture of the arts building at University of Guelph where we were ministering at.